TDM 002. WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.

[headandhand]

» 01. I LIKE TO PARTY AND BY PARTY I MEAN NAPS.

Look at all of these bright, shining new faces! There’s even a few less bright, less shining faces, but hey, this city welcomes all types. Chances are, if you’ve just arrived, you're seeing some pretty crazy things, unless you're used to an eye-blinding amount of neon, robots, weird-ass technology, magic, and an omnipresent police force...and hey, if you are, congrats, you're gonna settle in juuuuust fine. But for the rest of you, the Head knows this has gotta be pretty overwhelming, right?

Well, since your quaint individual processing units are probably having a hard time, why not link up with another one? By which the Head means...

Hello, new citizens of Dualis,
and welcome to your monthly Network Adjacency Protocol~!

NAPs are a monthly community networking event similar to the Earth concept of speed dating! Two citizens (new arrivals and old hands alike) are placed at a table together with a handy cue card of queries to help break the proverbial ice. Ask queries and receive results, or ignore the card and yeet yourself straight into a brand new friendship! But don't be too shy, you've only got ten minutes together, and if you just sit in silence for the whole ten, the Network Admins are likely to come supervise and try to repair the uplink through a mild shock to the ol' central nervous system. You might find yourself saying all sorts of unintended facts about yourself if that happens...probably better to just make friends, right? Who doesn’t like friends?!

This month’s event is held at the brand new RoCocoa Cat Cafe, a sparkly new establishment that caters to children and the young at heart with iced and hot cocoa drinks of all kinds, delicious pastries, age-appropriate live music, and of course many friendly kitties who love to lounge in laps. The cats are of all shapes, sizes, and colors, including some who may look a little different from what you expect, or may look like an ordinary cat but are actually anything but ordinary underneath that adorable fur coat. All cats in the cafe are adoptable, of course, for those who meet a new furry friend and just can’t bear to go home without them!

So pull up a chair, get to know your new neighbors, and enjoy a sugary treat or two with the resident furbabies. You might just meet your new two- or four-legged best friend!

» 02. TO TAG OR NOT TO TAG, THAT IS THE QUESTION.

Welcome, one and all, to a long-running time-honored Dualis tradition: the annual city-wide Dualis Marker Tag Competition! For this entire month, all participants who accept the challenge will be given a marker and set free to tag any other participant in the city by making a mark on their skin, while attempting to avoid being tagged themselves. Careful, though - the ink marks last a very long time, so you’ll have to wait until the competition concludes to wash everything off.

Markers come in all colors, even fluorescent, glitter, and glow-in-the-dark, and you can use however many markers your inner child’s heart desires. These markers will leave marks even on people who have chosen not to play, but you can easily purchase an armband, headband, or similar accessory that says NONPARTICIPANT if you so desire. Marking nonparticipants is considered extremely bad form and wins you no prizes, but "misfires" do still happen sometimes. It’s usually considered polite to offer a mistaken nonparticipant that you’ve marked a small reparation, like coffee or a more adult beverage.

Safe zones do exist! Any establishment can put out a sign that marks it as such - signs in shop windows, chalkboards outside bars, and the like; many do this, just to keep the general chaos and injury/property damage liability down. Tenants of private residences typically agree that their spaces are also safe zones, but that's up to y’all to hash out.

Have fun! And maybe try not to put anyone’s eye out, yeah?

» 03. TRICK OR TREAT, TRICK OR TREAT, THE BITTER AND THE SWEET ...

Looks like the Head’s been clued in to the quaint alien custom known as trick-or-treating. Is today Halloween? Who cares! You get free candy! Free candy for you, free candy for you, everybody gets free candy!

And rather than make citizens work for that free candy by traipsing around in costumes, the Head’s decided to cut everyone a little break and just have bowls of wrapped sugary delights placed strategically throughout the city. You never know where you’ll find them, or what types of candies the bowls will contain - chocolates, of course, and jellybeans and hard candies of every flavor you can think of, and treats you’ve probably never seen before now. Ooh, is that a snoobloo-flavored truffle? Only one way to find out! Eat it.

The treats are not poisoned or otherwise dangerous, but some do have a trick up their wrappers. Candies may cause temporary side effects: minor appearance changes, enhancing or reducing senses, sudden mild development of extranormal abilities, or loss of control over abilities you already possess. Some sweets are just regular treats and produce no effect except maybe cavities, if you don’t brush your teeth. Effects will remain until another candy is consumed that either induces a different effect or nulls the current effect and simply tastes nice. Enjoy!

Comments

[notverycinematic]

I bet that's a story. [Not that she's expecting to hear it, but it definitely sounds like there's something to the whole "former" thing.]

I'd say I'm Domino, but I think you figured it out.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Well he could claim the formerly was because he wanted to break Scott’s nose but that is something he doesn’t think she actually wants to hear. He hopes.]

A little birdie told me. But since this is you, you probably got, like, a dud candy that does nothing but taste good.

[notverycinematic]

Delicious. The best I've ever had. If people start dropping dead around me, just know I got lucky and I'm not an evil mastermind. Yet.

[helpdesk_hero]

I wouldn’t put the ability to be an evil mastermind by you, if you’re anything like the Domino of my world. But really, would the effort be worth it?

[She’s probably smart enough to know it isn’t.]

And if people start dropping dead or getting really sick I get to go to work and that would be sad. So I’m going to hope it doesn’t play out like that.

[notverycinematic]

Well, fuck, don't blow my cover. I am a sweet and wholesome innocent girl.

What are you, an EMT?

[helpdesk_hero]

Blow your cover? No chance. We could probably use a... ‘sweet and wholesome innocent girl’ around here.

[Yeah, she’s got him trying not to laugh at the idea. The woman, if anything like she is back, is badass and definitely not to be underestimated.]

If this place took my qualifications seriously? Surgeon and doctor. As it is? ER Nurse.

[notverycinematic]

Need an alibi?

[Good, then she's doing it right.]

Shit, that's helpful.

[helpdesk_hero]

Not yet, but who knows, maybe in the future.

[But he chuckles and shakes his head.]

Helpful except when one is outside of the hospital and you try and tell EMTs what needs to be done. They tend to ignore nurses.

[notverycinematic]

That sounds stupid.

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh it really is. But that's red tape and hierarchies for you. Everyone wants to be the smartest person around. But you've dealt with people, you know how they get.

[notverycinematic]

Is there a right answer there or what?

[helpdesk_hero]

There's a lot of right answers. And I hope you can find some here.

[None of those matter here, though. They're still stuck.]

[notverycinematic]

Thanks. I think?

[helpdesk_hero]

A word of advice, though? The robots? The Iterations that serve as the strength of the police here? Probably evil.

[notverycinematic]

I...tend to steer clear of the police anyway.

[helpdesk_hero]

Good choice. Here it can be a bit harder. We've got a few officers in the dorms, but they tend to be good people.

[notverycinematic]

Noted, I'll try not to stay up too late and party.

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh no, they probably wouldn't stop you from that. They might even know the clubs worth going to, the ones that don't have the cops around much.

[notverycinematic]

It was a hint, boy genius, change the subject.

[helpdesk_hero]

[Boy genius. More accurate than she can believe.]

How about them Cubs?

[Traditional subject change. Hopefully it gets a chuckle.]

[notverycinematic]

Ha ha. Wouldn't know, unless they're the ones pulling all the strings. Been a little busy lately to keep up with sports.

[helpdesk_hero]

I only ever keep up with Hockey, so I guess I get that.

[He wants to know what she was doing. He also doesn't intend to pry.]

You know, you can tell me to go away. I won't be offended.

[notverycinematic]

Aw, when we're having such an interesting conversation? And I just got done telling you how sweet I am?

[helpdesk_hero]

Sweetest sister I've met here. Which is definitely the highlight of my day. But if you're not shooing me off and you'll willing to deal with the off-duty male nurse ready to jump in just in case evil candy tries to kill people, maybe I can tell you about the place near here where they have a throwing axe restaurant and bar.

[notverycinematic]

[Wait they have a what now?]

Continue.